Thank You Terrapin Nation

A place to discuss anything not covered in the other forums
Posts: 2044
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:19 am
Location: Suburbs of Philly

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by KEZHEAD » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:10 pm

2-73 wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 5:42 pm
we have an appointment tomorrow with an attorney

Make sure you get a living well set up & power of attorney.
My older sister is already her power of attorney
Living will is also written up by our family attorney
The meeting today had to due with the mortgage on her home
My father passed in mid March of this year
Both of their names are on the mortgage
The shit mortgage company was giving her a major run around about removal of my father from that loan
Excuse me, he passed away, here is the death certificate, let’s get pass this and help my mom jackass
I will name this exceptional financial institution
PNC Bank.....worst ever!!

Posts: 2044
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:19 am
Location: Suburbs of Philly

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by KEZHEAD » Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:25 pm

My mom also has an ostomy bag
When she woke up from her nap today the bag was full and had leaked on her sheets and comforter
Very anger and upset she let that happen
This is my first time
I don’t have much knowledge about them
She spend a good 1/2 hour cleaning herself up in the bathroom
I could hear her crying and had this feeling of how can I help (not knowing what to do)

I don’t mean to bring everyone down with my issues, just looking for answers and advice

User avatar
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2014 7:42 pm

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by Nycdave » Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:56 pm

Kazhead, taking care of an elderly parent is a difficult process. That you care and are making the effort matters. Here are some books I can recommend:

> How To Care For Aging Parents by Virginia Morris

> Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent : A Guide for Stressed-Out Children by Grace Lebow

These books (and there are others) may not not have all the answers, but they can act as guides, with helpful suggestions. Be strong. Even though you may make some mistakes along the way, that you have the ability to learn from your mistakes and are willing to make the effort to do better, makes a big difference. May the force be with you.

Posts: 2044
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:19 am
Location: Suburbs of Philly

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by KEZHEAD » Thu Feb 13, 2020 9:02 pm

Today was a confusing day for her
After dinner last night we talked about the mortgage and what would be needed to bring it back into the black
I told her I would write a check for $1500 To PNC bank :twisted:
Today she thought I said $2000
She heard me wrong :?: :think
My mother is a very religious woman
Also a member of A.R.E.
Believes in the healing touch
Meditates daily
Watches Joel Osteen :o
Takes a regiment of vitamins every day (to the point of almost obsession)
The Power of Pyramids
She believes that she has had 4 passed lives
Two of which she was brutally murdered because she was a prostitute and let men rule her life
The third a very strong four-year-old girl living with her mother in south Philly struggling to make ends meet without a father in sight
The forth, a wonderer, gypsy, homeless person who battles her way through life and wins at the game and creates a home for her four children
Gives them the best life she could ever imagine and lives to the ripe old age of 80
I don’t believe in the first two lives
She is quite an amazing woman!

Posts: 2044
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:19 am
Location: Suburbs of Philly

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by KEZHEAD » Fri Feb 14, 2020 10:19 pm

Today was an inside day
I am manufactured a tool to help her get the laundry out of the washing machine and into the drier
Simple... just a pair of pincers to grab the clean clothes from one machine into the other
She said wow this is easy
No strain on the back and easy on her arms
Did I mention she has a full array of teas
Tonight she went with a stress relief tea
I forget the name of it
I like her mint tea or red raspberry to start my day (I had both)
She also has throat coat
Black tea
A tea that will help you shit
A tea that’s good for your bladder or liver if you like the spirits
A tea for lactating mothers :dance
You name it, she’s either heard of it or tried it

Posts: 2044
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:19 am
Location: Suburbs of Philly

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by KEZHEAD » Sat Feb 15, 2020 12:48 am

Rheumatoid arthritis is another ailment
Pain throughout her body day and night
Sleeping is another issue
I have a nice room upstairs which gives me my space
Late at night I can hear her with the walker shuffling around
Woke me up at 3am this morning
Makes me nervous
What if something were happen when I’m asleep

User avatar
Posts: 11399
Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 12:01 am

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by Equinox » Sun Feb 16, 2020 12:46 am

I went through a lot of what you're going through when I cared for my dad. He had dementia which was made much worse by the PTSD that he'd been left with after his tour of duty in Burma during World War 2. Looking back I can see that the PTSD was always a factor in his life -- there were anger issues and nerves -- but he mostly stuffed it deep inside himself and had a regular life. As he got older, however, his defenses weakened and the demons came out. It's very hard to have someone forcibly committed so I ended up having to care for him for three years.

I won't go into the details -- you obviously have a good idea what they are. There were many nights when I sat up alone, like yourself, literally terrified that everything was going to blow apart. The one thing I didn't worry about was myself. And after my dad died it took me a long time to get back to really enjoying life. That's why I'm posting this. I just want to remind you that no matter how much your mom needs you you still have a life of your own. So give yourself the occasional break even if it's just a concert, a movie or a walk on a sunny day. You deserve it. And I'm sure your mom would agree.
"Got any nails?"


"Got any flies?"

Posts: 2044
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:19 am
Location: Suburbs of Philly

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by KEZHEAD » Wed Feb 19, 2020 9:43 pm

I did not want to touch this thread for a few days now
My mother has what I call Spider veins in both legs
We had an episode on sunday
I awoke at 5:15am with screams from my mother
Kerry....I need think I need your help
I ran downstairs to find her bleeding profusely from one of her feet
Puddles of blood
Like her I was in shock
I knew I couldn’t get her safely to the hospital so I called 911 (she was anger because I did that)
Ambulance came
The two emt’s did their jobs seeing she was in shock
What is your name and where do you live
After a few minutes of screaming at them (why are you asking me these shit questions)
I followed the ambulance to the emergency room at the local hospital
After screaming and hollering again in the ER
They put some kind of glue on the bleeder vain
and sent us home
I asked her if she had stepped on something going to and from the bathroom
(that’s when she said the bleeding started)
The good news that day is she has a home nurse that comes to wrap her legs every other day was scheduled that early afternoon
Keep in mind all they did in the ER was put super glue on her open vain (didn’t even try to wrap it)
I don’t ever want to relive that day at all
My older sister lives in Tennessee
My youngest brother lives in Delaware and my middle brother lives in Norristown Pennsylvania
All three of them have families and children of their own
I’m divorced and all of my children have grown to have their own families
Yes I am a grandfather :dance
So it was (or is) a natural fit for me to stay with my mother and look after her
I couldn’t sleep for two days because I was so worried about what could happen next
I will finish with this
As far as her Ostomy bags
She can still change them on a regular basis
THANK YOU lord!!!

Much Love For :terrapinnation!

User avatar
Posts: 478
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:42 pm
Location: Swamp

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by NotFadeAway » Wed Feb 26, 2020 8:42 pm

I would also like to post a little gratitude to this site/the moderators/owners/admins etc...

The last decade has been hands down one of the roughest periods of time I have ever experienced. This is not a post for sniveling or asking for sympathy - we are beyond that. I have not written or talked much about this in detail - but today I had this overwelming feeling of THANKS for this community. I will explain further:

Much like Kez, I also had to care for my mother through years (10) of dimensia, which evolved into Alzheimers, and ended horribly... (suicide)

Included in that 10 year period, 7 of my friends OD'd and died from opiates and heroin usage. (in Phoenix) One blowing his head off directly infront of us at a large pyschadelic camp out / gathering. Another doing this on webcam while we all watched unable to do anything, as we didnt know his location to send help.

My sister then died of alchohol poisoning; and we then lost a neice to cancer. (Age 8).

Iv been a wrecked shell for a long time. In the last year or two Iv forced myself back into the world, tours,(last time I got to travel or tour befor all of this was Dead 09 up the left coast) traveling, trying to get past all of this PTSD and also maybe getting to know ppl again. All friends gone/dead/wasted. Family gone/dead/wasted. Moved all the way across country from AZ to VA to just get a new start... (2 years back now)

I appreciate the opportunity to do certain things like broadcast shows, help with the flag, and meet some cool folks so far in person like Patch and Opus.

This opporunity to join this community and help out gives me something to do on a pretty regular basis and I dive in deep when thoughts turn another direction they should not...Not easy, but work and distractions help considerably.

All in all, I just wanted to say thank you; and that I appreciate each and every one of you. Nobody really knows alot of this, but you guys are helping me grow out of such a dark period - learn who I am again, and make some really cool new choices on directions I want to head.

Love ya all - thank you so much.

Really cant say how much finding this site means to me. Truely...

:bigheart :bigheart :bigheart :bigheart


Screen Shot 2020-02-26 at 8.53.43 PM.png
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Circles Around The Sun-Mar 5(DC)
Melvin Seals & JGB - Mar 18(DC)
DSO-March 27(NC)
DSO-March 28/29(NC)
DSO-April 11(TN)
Goose-Apr 18(NC)
DS0 Jubilee-May 22-24(OH)
D&C-July 18(NC)
D&C-July 29(PA)
D&C-Aug 5(VA)

User avatar
Posts: 22597
Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:55 pm
Location: Midwest

Re: Thank You Terrapin Nation

Post by SunshineSue » Thu Feb 27, 2020 12:57 am

It just warms my heart to see the kind people in this community supporting each other. That's really what it's all about at the core, imho, it's not just the music. :sunshine :bigheart


Post Reply